Holidays-Without-frustration

Our fatigue is often caused not by work, but by worry, frustration and resentment. Dale Carnegie

Admit it, you have a love-hate relationship with the holidays.

The excitement comes up as the season changes and you look forward to the preparation , presents and catching up with friends and family.

You can’t wait to fill your house with visitors, eating and drinking your favorite refreshments and catching up with your oldest and dearest friends.

Everything will be perfect.

This will be the year you breeze through the season fuss-free and full of amusement.

Then the apathy starts as you fill out your to-do list and worry takes over your every thought.

How will you get it all done?

How will you make sure everything goes smoothly?

How will you avoid the yearly argument with you Uncle Moe over politics, especially this year?

You’ve already fallen deep into dread and it looks like things are only going to get worse.

Don’t despair, there are a few things you can do to get through without the usual frustration. It will take some early preparation but you have a bit of time and it could become second nature with some practice.

 1. Let Go of the Need to Impress to Stress Less.

You’ve been practicing the holidays for a long time and you know what to do. Yet every year you struggle to get that Crème Brule’ just right and the decorations you bought a couple years ago still seem out of place and you wish you had never bought them in the first place.

Stop the perfection! It is stressing you out and robbing you of the Joy of the season. There is perfectly alright and good enough and they are great substitutes. It is important to remember that the holidays have a deeper meaning. The relationships you share are the most important thing to value. The people that you love and the ones that love you do not really care if they show up at your house and find something amiss or an imperfect meal.

It’s the time spent together, reminiscing about the past, sharing our excitement for the future and just soaking in all the goodness of the present that fills our heart. When you are relaxed your ability to soak in those moments amplifies.

So make this season one to remember by letting go of the need to impress and replacing it with a carefree attitude. Everything will turn out well and it’s the energy you bring to the holiday that matters the most. When you set the energy and attitude that things will go well the universe will deliver. Get in your groove , do what you do and do not attach to the outcome.

 2. It’s o.k. to Walk Away from Toxic Patterns

This is the year you vow to stay on your diet, right? Or maybe you’ve decided it is a good time to release the need to polish off a couple of bottle’s of  wine with your sister. In fact, maybe you say the same thing every year and walk around in January feeling like a failure, full of guilt and shame for all the damage you’ve done to your body.

Because, lets face it, once the holidays start they never really stop and pretty soon you have fallen totally off your healthy patterns and caved to your wilder ways.

The good news is you do not have to do the same thing you’ve always done. Let this be the year you break the pattern. Forgive yourself now for all those other times instead of them being your excuse for letting yourself down this year too. Take some time to reflect and get honest about your commitment. What do you really want as your big prize and break it down into smalls steps to get there, know thy path and know it well so you don’t get stuck in the weeds.

What will it take for you to break the pattern finally? Would you like some help? Print out my worksheet on release  a negative pattern.

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Release a negative pattern pdf(1) page 1


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3.Turn Over A New Leaf

You may find that you feel everything has to be the same every holiday season. Breaking tradition is just too hard to imagine so you try not to change anything too drastically. How is that working? Do you secretly wish you could just go away on a tropical vacation for the holidays and you push the thought away every year?

Traditions are just that…traditions, and it is your choice to make them AND break them. If they are dearly missed you can always go back to them for the next holiday.

Consider the benefits of turning over a new leaf and drop your tradition and go for it. What will you gain if you try something different? What is really holding you back from trying? What will be an obstacle that will prevent you from going for it?

We get frustrated and resentful when we feel tied to something but our heart desires something else. Work through it and figure it out, then get everyone onboard or release their judgement of the change and disconnect from what they think. If you are the one always responsible to keep the tradition alive it is your choice take a break or pass the responsibility on in order to pursue something more pleasing.

4.Prioritize Self-Care

Self-care can be the one thing that will help you keep your cool if everything else falls apart and the holidays go awry. What are the habits that are non-negotiable? Did you do the worksheet in #2 yet? Which daily habits will keep you in tip top condition and prevent the holiday meltdown of exhaustion you usually experience.

Self-care can help you feel vibrant and revitalize you when your energy is zapped. Make sure you do at least one thing for yourself in the morning and one thing before bed. This will keep you on top of your game when the real stress happens. Take a well-deserved walk at least once a week outdoors and reconnect with nature.

Make a new family tradition to let the dishes sit in the sink while the whole family takes a walk or plays a game outdoors. Ask for help if you need a few moments to restore your energy and enjoy a few moments relaxing with everyone.

5.Dealing With Loss

The holidays can be one of the most difficult times of the year especially if you have had a loss. You may have lost a job, pet, loved one or break up that will be pulling at your heart strings. Show yourself some compassion and recognize the signs of grief.

Give yourself time to reflect and reconnect with your memories and carry those with you in the difficult moments. We all go through loss and grief is a part of life, the less you resist it the more comfortable you become with the grieving process.

Remember you’re are never alone and someone else may be sharing your grief. It is a good time to reach out to a supportive person and just let your feelings be heard.

Drop the frustration and Thrive this holiday season.

Welcome connection with family, friends and fun.

Pinpoint those moments you look forward to and maximize your intention for them to be enjoyable.

This can be the most enjoyable time of the year when you  change your mindset from being on autopilot to manual overdrive intent on an enjoyable season.

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Wishing you a Joy-filled day!

Charlene Anestis

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