5 Steps A Joy Warrior Must Take: A Guide Through Deep Transformation

“Like the Phoenix, from the Ashes, you shall rise with Wisdom and Joy to Honor your Soul” Charlene Anestis

Have you been there before?

Rising from the ashes of your life in agony after a devastating turn of events has decimated the strong foundation you thought you had.

What was it that triggered the events that put you in that place of unsettling grief?


We all live through turmoil, trauma, and disappointment. We all burn up at some point to reinvent ourselves.

So why do we think that everything should be easy?

Should we be able to wish away our problems?

Then our life would be perfect, rich and full. And then maybe we would be happy.

Deep down I bet you know that isn’t true. Deep in the heart, you know that the perfect life isn’t so perfect. There is always an unrest, a slight feeling of lack and a disconnection from ourselves.

We can turn that unrest into contentment, that feeling of lack of enough and rekindle connection within. It comes through a deep transformation, often found during our most difficult days. When we are at our lowest and strive to get back into the light.

What do we gain by experiencing difficulties? How do we move on when our life has been turned upside down and we can not see the right side up from where we are standing?

I was in that place many times. Wondering if things would ever get better. I took the chance to embrace change and build a new life each time. I let go of everything I knew and experienced everything anew.

It is possible. It is rewarding. It is the uncovering of Joy. And you can have it too. Let me explain how.

The Phoenix

The Myth of the Phoenix is written throughout history in many cultures. The Phoenix is an inspiring story of a richly colored bird living a long life, who builds in its nest a self-created fire to burn up in.

The Phoenix has the ability to resurrect and emerges from the ashes as a newly formed chick with all the wisdom it acquired living its previous life.

Quite a remarkable transformation must happen for a phoenix to be ready to let go of the life it has lived for so long. They must let go of their previous identity and thought patterns to heal.

As a young chick, they connect to life with curiosity and love, in return discovering a wiser more powerful existence that fills their heart with Joy.

We all have the ability to transform like the Phoenix.

Living, burning, rising anew.

Creating from within when we no longer feel young and alive. Life throws challenges at us and if those challenges break us down, how do we then build ourselves back up?

Deep transformation is always available through troubled times.

Many of us choose to go back to our old patterns and routines for their comfort and ignore the learning experience of transformation. A richer life experience is gained if we gather up the wisdom we have learned and create a new existence with a fresh perspective on life.

This is the path that the Joy Warrior takes.

Do you recognize any Joy Warriors in your life?

Perhaps even yourself?

Someone who has been to hell and back, sometimes created by their own choices or someone who fate has dealt a terrible blow.

Yet they have gathered the strength, courage, and wisdom to start over and come out on the other side as a new person with a message to share?

No one ever wishes to be at rock bottom no matter how it happens. We all go through trauma in life. We have devastating losses and grief and think we will never recover, it is a human experience.

Yet you move on slowly putting one foot in front of the other, taking care not to revisit where you’ve been. Everyone expecting a smile eventually like you haven’t been through a difficult turn of events.

Drop the fluffy bunnies and rainbows for a moment and think back to your darkest moment.

  • How did you recover?
  • What shifted for you to move on and through the pain?
  • Are you still holding onto any pain?

Have you been through these 5 Steps that transform an ordinary person into a Joy Warrior?


Photo by Kostas Katsouris on Unsplash

1. The Dark Night of The Soul


The dark night of the soul is the moment we think we can’t go on any longer. We are full of anguish and can not see a way forward. We give up, crying for mercy.

It is in that moment of letting go that A Joy Warrior is born from the nest of the Phoenix. We let go and mystically get a glimmer of hope. We are not quite sure what has shifted yet something feels different, there is a small glimmer of peace and we know we can go on.

The next day we may feel as if nothing has changed, yet know that there is a different way to experience life. We become seekers, looking for the solution that will turn things around. Empowered by the moment of hope and peace we anticipate a better outcome.

When have you found that glimmer of hope…

  • How did it help you recognize that you could move forward?
  • How did you create awareness to look for something positive in your situation?

2. Burning Day

To be able to move on from the depths of hell you must burn up. The most difficult experience A Joy Warrior will face is to let go of the identity that has carried us through life until we experienced the dark night of the soul.

At this point, you may want to cling to the familiar. This is where many people fail to move on.

Having gone through a life-changing experience, however, is just that, a life-changing experience. We must change and evolve, Die to rise again. Let go of toxic patterns and behaviors that have not supported us well in the past.

Burn all of our excuses and labels that would prevent us from soaring in the future. We must set fire to our existence to start anew.

Thrive Leads Shortcode could not be rendered, please check it in Thrive Leads Section!

3. Rebirth

The moment when we are reborn, newly feathered, anticipating a fresh start with infinite possibility. Excited to live again. We are open to new approaches and take Joy in our ability to see from a different perspective.

Hope is born.

The Joy Warriors imagination is sparked.

Life takes on new meaning. Plans are made, Relationships are reconstructed to allow for growth. Fear has lost its grip. Life becomes enjoyable again. We are free to fly to whatever height we wish.

What have you looked upon lately with new eyes?

  • Do you have a dream you would like to fulfill?
  •  How could you step forward into action towards that dream today?

4. Discovery

We begin to test our new wings. Execute our plans, Start new projects, Visit old places with new eyes. Everything is tested as if we have never experienced it before.

This part of a Joy Warriors journey is where the most growth emerges. It is about testing boundaries. Trying new approaches.

For most, it is one step forward two steps back. The old behaviors and patterns may creep back in, they are quickly recognized and acknowledged.

This can be a roller coaster ride of feelings. There are glimpses of your old life and it can be nostalgic yet the new life feels so invigorating.

5. Wisdom

Through this process at every step, You are gaining knowledge and wisdom about yourself. You look to the past and recognize the dark place that you came from. You see the growth that has happened mentally, emotionally, spiritually and sometimes physically.

You know that you very well could still be in that dark place if you had not chosen to move on at any point. You’ve gathered the wisdom that you have learned and start to share it with others.

Because you recognize them, the ones who are where you use to be, and you want them to know that they can be where you are now, too.

So you apply your wisdom with a new purpose.

You choose to see it everywhere. You look at your experiences and challenges with love. As A Joy Warrior, you know your time is meaningful. Your past experience can help someone else, and you watch for the opportunities to share with someone else what you have learned.

Never to revisit the darkness of your past. You do not have to, Joy has become ingrained in your heart.

What message of hope do you have to share? There is someone waiting to hear your message. Who will you inspire today?


Click Here to Make Peace your Inner Place

Join the Challenge starting January 8th


About the author

Charlene Anestis

Charlene Anestis, is a Empowerment Coach for Healers, Coaches and Empaths who want to use their energetic power to uplevel their life and business. The mission of this blog is to empower healer, coaches and empaths to embrace their life in a way that creates massive impact on the world without sacrificing their energy. She has previously been featured on the blog Tiny Buddha.